I can sleep when the wind blows

I've been sitting here thinking about the effect childhood has on a person. I am nearing fifty, yet I am fond of saying I 'grew up' on Navy bases.

Shoot, I've only recently begun to feel like I might be moving forward but growing up? No, that would be a stretch. No worries, I'm working on it and I sleep when the wind blows. I read that in a story once; a wise old man who took a job as a ranch foreman. At the interview, the rancher asked him about his work ethic and the old man said, "Well, I can sleep when the wind is blowing."

The rancher didn't really understand what that meant but he liked the look of old guy so he hired him.

As luck would have it, a raging storm blew in a month or so after the foreman had started working at the ranch, and the storm was fast approaching as the rancher frantically searched for his new "man in charge." He found him asleep in his bed!

"What are you doing man?" the farmer said in a panic. There's a storm coming in and we need to tie down the hay! The animals must be sheltered and the fences checked immediately...! Why, I could lose a bundle in a wind like this one!"

The old foreman looked at his new boss and reminded him of what he said on that first day.

And the rancher suddenly understood. "I can sleep when the wind blows."

He meant the bales had already been tied down and before he put himself to bed, he tended to the animals. The fences were tight and checked on a regular basis.

Now I’m not saying I’m like this guy…my sink is often full of dirty dishes and I could stand to run the vacuum more often. But the important stuff is done on a fairly regular basis.

For sure I can sleep when the wind blows.

The War at Home

THE WAR AT HOME

She's drowning in the day to day
he's missing her a world away
he can't come home; she thinks he bailed,
another letter comes by mail.

Dear John, she wrote and maybe shed a tear
I just can't do this alone without you here.
I've had help from your friend Drew
he does the things you used to do.

We took the boys to the old racetrack
he hauled the cars in your new truck
but last night he was there in a different way
so babe, i'm writing this letter to say

Dear John, it's over, dear John,

When you come home we won't be there,
Drew and I are taking the boys to the fair.
I'm sorry that this couldn't wait
'til you got home, that would be too late.

chorus
What's wrong with this world
when a mate isn't willing
to stay for the long haul?
The impact is chilling.
These men fight a battle with steel nerves and cunning,
while their women wage war they never saw coming.

A boy named Scott from Tennessee
had his girl's picture on his humvee
He took her everywhere he went
protecting her image from sand and wind.

But all Scott did was not enough,
life back home was awfully rough.
He told her things would soon be better
but then he got the poisoned letter.
Dear Scott, she wrote from her lover's home

I'm tired of your need to roam.
I didn't marry an Army man
I married a man with a farmer's tan.
I never thought you'd be called to fight
I just can't do this day and night, dear Scott.

There's Erik Smith from the midwest
When he was called up he did his best
to tell her how to get things done while
he was gone; his girl won't run.

but her letters came fewer and further between
as he lined up his target lit by moonbeam.
And at almost the same moment he pulled the trigger
she mailed her last letter; doesn't it figure?

Dear Erik, she wrote in familiar hand,
he read her goodbye in a foreign land.
He tore up the letter and sent the scraps flying
Oh well, was her logic, at least I'm not lying.
Dear Erik, it's over, dear Erik goodbye.

An interesting security measure

YOU MAY HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA.

Vandalism Deterrent - Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get into your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you! reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break in your house, odds are the burglar or rapist won't stick around.... after a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that.

That's an email I've received several times lately....and oh yes, it seems like a brilliant idea.

Matter of fact, I thought it was such a good idea when Chris sent it around that I actually took my key fob upstairs to the bedroom with me that night.

I'd recently had a scare when I went down the stairs one night and thought I heard a noise in the kitchen. I was standing at the bottom of the stairs and the sound was so distinct I called out loudly, "Is somebody here?"

What did I expect? For the intruder to say, "Uh, yes ma'am, here I am in your kitchen, looking for valuables...?"

Truth is, my own voice scared me so badly I turned around and ran upstairs to my bedroom where I bolted the door and stayed there all night. That's what I usually do at night, stay in my bedroom, but this was the first scary night I ever spent there.

I called my ex-husband Kevin and told him about it and he offered to come by and check things out for me. I was aghast. "Of course not! What if someone really IS down there?"

I just waited for morning and when I went down to view the damage I was met by a terrible mess, which was quite a relief since it's the mess my daughter left last time she was here. And the "intruder" didn't even do my dishes!

Oh well, time to get ready for work. I tell you, I turned my house upside down looking for my car keys, which I ALWAYS leave by the back door because I used to lose them all the time. I finally placed a frantic call to work to get someone to come pick me up because I'd lost my keys and had run out of time to look for them.

Coworker Frank Rush says with an unsettlingly authoritative voice: "They're under your bed."

Startled, I first wondered how HE would know that, but it IS the one place I didn't look. So I went upstairs and just about the time I spotted them under the bed I remembered the reason for taking them upstairs in the first place.

Boy, it's pretty sad when you have a great idea to test and forget all about it when the emergency actually arises to try it out.

I think I need to get a big dog.

Or a bigger key fob. ;-)

Isn't it supposed to be WATCHING television?

I’m getting a little peeved at my favorite television channels. Since I work in radio, I know more than most how competitive the media industry is these days, but television is getting ridiculous.

Here I am watching my favorite cheesy television show (no, I’m not going to share the programs with you, I watch way too much tv) and right there over the character’s face is what must be AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT.

So I take my eyes off the show and my mind follows as I read: IT’S HELL IN THE KITCHEN WEDNESDAY….ARE YOU WATCHING HELL’S KITCHEN???

Well, uh….no. I WAS trying to watch Project Runway (or whatever show it was) until I was so rudely interrupted.

I actually SPOKE to my television last night and scolded its network for doing that. I said, “Hey, you’ve ALREADY GOT ME WATCHING…! Why are you still trying to sell me???”

I understand we’re a fast-paced, demanding society of over-indulged individuals, but is it really too much to ask that the network save their commercials for the commercial break?