Behind every successful marriage...

Richard and Janet Cota celebrated 50 years of marriage Saturday night surrounded by friends and family at The Kendall Inn in Indianapolis. A fabulous time was had by all! I thought you might enjoy a transcript of my little tribute:

Marjie and I surprised Mom and Dad on the Fourth of July this year. We had a great visit, some real quality time together…and as usual, Mom had gone through her closet and made a pile of beautiful clothes to send along with me. I was wearing one of her outfits for the trip home when we stopped in their club for a quick bite before heading to the airport.

Mom was behind us when Marjie and I walked into the club. Several of our parents’ friends called out to Marjie, who’d been there many times, and when they saw me, they exclaimed, “Oh! You must be Jan’s sister!” It was really something when the club chef, who knows my mother well, almost followed me in to the bathroom when I failed to stop at his calling, “Jan! Jan!”
I didn’t realize he was talking to me until the door had shut behind me.

Later, in the airport, I was reaching for the soap dispenser when I caught my reflection in the mirror. Holy cow, I thought, I AM MY MOTHER.

I have decided I am one lucky woman if I can be a fraction of the woman my mother has become. In actuality, she makes me look old. She has more energy than the law should allow…her home is tasteful and immaculate...her husband is well fed and completely housebroken. She has taken that country boy and spun him into a fairly respectable, successful golfer and retiree. Somehow, in the course of fifty years, she has bewitched our father more with each day. Their love is something to celebrate indeed, and something few people get to experience. Dad always told us Mom came first with him…we kids were a distant second. Our dad is a really smart man…putting the marriage first is one of the secrets of making a union work.

Any of the Cota kids can tell you Mom and Dad made a very important deal at some point in their marriage: whoever left had to take the kids. Now we may look like an impressive bunch these days, but back then that was a viable threat. Nobody left and we got to grow up with the most amazing family two good people in love can create.

Our parents provided the kind of childhood I didn’t realize was nearly extinct: both parents living under the same roof with five quibbling siblings who were, in actuality, pretty tight. Navy bases were as safe as country roads back then and the porch light coming on was our cue to come in at night.

Growing up, our parents knew all our friends and the Cota house was always, always where we hung out. It was good to be a Cota kid.

Believe me, it still is.

Years ago I was in the hospital, the same hospital where Mom and Dad both worked. I will always remember the nurse who, after learning I was a Cota kid, came to my bedside and said, “I love your mother. She never has an unkind thing to say about anyone. We all just LOVE HER.”

I have wanted to be just like my mother ever since that day…and if that includes looking just like her, too, I’m happy to say I’m on my way.