Memorial Day, Mothers and the Military

With Memorial Day looming, it would be remiss of me not to mention my beloved troops, particularly those who gave their lives in service to our country.

One of our message board members asked if there would be a Memorial Day parade this year. I had vague memories of parades past with more veterans marching than people lining the streets, so I was not hopeful that the answer was yes. Sadly, I was correct.

In all the years of this country’s history, men have worn the uniforms of the American military forces with pride and served with honor. I wonder why, with the passage of time and the way life changes, we no longer seem to be as reverent of those who served as we should be…especially those whose very lives were lost in the name of the United States of America and liberty and freedom and justice for ALL.

It could be as simple as this: ordinary citizens just don’t know what it means to serve. Some of them know better now, of course, with our current fight against terrorism, because now it’s YOUR neighbor, or YOUR son or daughter, or YOUR daddy who’s “over there somewhere” dodging bullets and bombs and not always successfully. All of a sudden, “service” has a new meaning.

In the course of my life I have been very outspoken about our troops and very consistent with my support. This did not begin with 9/11, it began the first time my daddy got on a ship and was gone for lengthy deployments; two years away from home was average, I believe. How my mother ever managed to raise five young children with her husband so far away is still a mystery to me. But my respect for her grows by the day and has since the birth of my own child, twenty years ago. I quit at one child because I knew I didn’t have the right stuff. My mother does.

And life really was different on the bases where we lived. We got our groceries at the Commissary, and they cost less than they do in your neighborhood grocery store. We bought our clothes at the PX. For entertainment, we had a skating rink and a movie theatre, and if memory serves, either one cost a quarter a kid, not a bad deal at all on a military salary.

And that base housing! They were gloomy, used-up, painted over duplexes and “dorm” style buildings that somehow my mother would turn into the most beautiful home for us. And this was after the exhaustive job of moving us in to the housing in the first place.

But there was also another difference between living on a Navy base. We took care of our own. When my mother had to take a job to make ends meet, it was another Navy wife who insisted on taking all five of us in after school, though she had five children of her own. I learned how to wolf-whistle from a neighbor boy at the age of ten. We hung out at the playground and we played the same childhood games you probably did, but in our neighborhood, the faces were always changing. If we weren’t moving to another state, our best friends were. We learned to love and let go. And one thing I’ve always found particularly unique: I don’t have a home town. I didn’t grow up in a specific place. When you move every couple of years, there are no roots to grow.

The people I comfort and support today are the families of the men and women who have been deployed from their guard or reserve unit. These families didn’t grow up on bases; they don’t know what it’s like to get along without one, and sometimes more than one, integral member of their family unit. I support my troops, but it’s usually the wives, mothers, sisters, brothers and friends who call to share their stories, their pride and sometimes their fear with me.

As an adult it’s so easy to see how growing up in the military influences how I view others. I am almost reverent to those who wear the uniform, which comes from my deep respect and awe of my amazing father.
And I respect those who stay behind and keep their homes running smoothly because of my mother’s shining example of grace under fire while my father served our country.

This Memorial Day there will be at least two ceremonies in Terre Haute to honor those we have lost. They are scheduled for 9am at Woodlawn Cemetary and 11am Highland Lawn Cemetary.

Memorial Day is not about a three-day weekend. It’s about honoring our fallen heroes. Teach your children about these soldiers. Enjoy your time off, but please remember it began as a day to honor those who gave the ultimate sacrifice in service to you and to me. And if you truly want to show them you appreciate them, be at those memorial services.